She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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