I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
