Do you still have your period?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
