There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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