You really coming over, don't trick.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
