why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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