watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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