Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
