Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
