He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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