Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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