Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
