I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We had sex on a dog bed..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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