I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize