Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
