New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize