just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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