Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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