this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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