brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
