You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
