OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Operation Purity has been aborted
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I smell like Dick and happiness
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
