I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
