There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
