I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she told me i tasted like america
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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