I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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