i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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