Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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