but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
