Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
