Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize