Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize