i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
