I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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