I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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