So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
