Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
