Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
