How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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