I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
