You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize