she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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