I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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