Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is this like a preordered booty call?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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