watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
