I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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