When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
