Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
