I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
