wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
please come you make the beer taste better
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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