I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize