Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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