So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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