Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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