I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
