so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
