I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
