I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
