They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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