Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
