So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
